Why I struggled to write my first blog for Big Horse Trek
I love writing. I often go on and on in my writing and have to cull words like there is no tomorrow. So why have I struggled to write this first blog for Big Horse Trek?
I had originally wanted my first blog to come online at the same time as my website. Well, that clearly didn’t happen! Every day since launching my website, I have looked at one of my (20 or so) “to do” lists I have for Big Horse Trek and up the top is always listed “write blog”, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Why?
It’s not that I didn’t try. Every time I sat down to write, or thought about what I wanted to write, I got flustered. Overwhelmed. I didn’t know where to start. What do people want to know? Do they ACTUALLY want to know anything about this crazy little project I am doing when I’m just a very below average, plain, boring person? How do I explain the genesis of Big Horse Trek to others, when I am still coming to terms with it in my own mind?
Tonight, I was out on a run. I find that I do my best thinking on my runs.* For the first few months of planning it was where I would brainstorm my best (and worst) ideas for trek names (maybe one day I’ll share my list with the world. There are some doozies in there!). Anyway, on my run tonight I was mentally going through some of the things I need to get done this week for Big Horse Trek. And the blog immediately came to mind. So, I asked myself- Why is it so damn hard for me to write this first blog??? I love writing. I’ve always been pretty good at writing. So, what’s going on??? Then it dawned on me. I was scared. I was scared of what people might think of me. I was scared of telling my story. And not just scared, but not even sure how I could explain why I am doing this trek in the space of a short blog. There are SO many reasons and factors that brought this journey on, it would more fit into a tome than a short blog.
So, what’s the solution? Take a breath. Write the truth. And don’t stress- the whole story can come out in time. There is no rush to try and explain it all straight-up. I’m still processing the whole thing myself. Just write the damn blog! Give a brief outline, be honest, and be yourself. So that brings me here.
Below is a VERY brief run-down of how Big Horse Trek started. It is a highly abridged version, and over time I will share more details about my motivations (there are WAY too many to even count):
While recovering from spinal surgery in July 2018, after 10 years of crap health, I decided I wanted to do something that I would consider important in my life. Yep, I was searching for some meaning and purpose. I had always wanted to do something for a cancer charity, after losing my dad to cancer when I was 13 years old.
During my recovery from surgery, I had written what I consider a bastardised form of a Bucket List and “Ride the entire Bicentennial National Trail” ended up on there as a ‘One day’/ ‘Pie in the sky’ thing to do. I slept on it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
‘One day’ – when will ‘one day’ come? How will I know when the time is right? Is there a right time? If not now, then when?
Once I started to look in to the planning and logistics, the ball started rolling and has just gained more and more momentum since then. Before I knew it, I had plans to use the ride as a cancer research fundraiser (I have followed the Love Your Sister charity since it began and I love and respect the work they do in raising money for cancer research, so it was a no-brainer for me to raise money for them!), I started getting sponsors on-board, and I’d even bought a horse sight-unseen from the sales (welcome Tyson!). At each of these points I felt like I couldn’t turn back…. Just keep swimming, Bec!
For the trek itself, I will be taking 3 horses, trekking solo 5 330km down the Bicentennial National Trail down the east coast of Australia. I will depart Cooktown in far-north Queensland in April 2020 and trek the entire length of the trail to Healesville in Victoria (which is only 40 min from where I live!). The trek should take about 12 months (but in all honesty- who knows. It could be less, it could be more – potentially a LOT more!). It will be remote in parts, lonely, isolated, challenging, exhausting, rewarding, amazing, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
Until next time, that’s enough. I can breathe a sigh of relief as my first blog is now done. Feel free to send me an email/message and let me know if there is anything you want to know (or don’t want to know!) and I can incorporate that in to another blog.
I came up with this little rhyme a few weeks back for when the going gets tough (it sometimes plays on repeat in my mind). Enjoy:
Do what you love and love what you do, otherwise life will feel like it’s poo.
Bec
PS - Please donate to my fundraiser! My goal is to raise $53 300 for cancer research ($10 per km of the Bicentennial National Trail) via the Love Your Sister charity.
Please click HERE to help me reach this goal! 100% of donated funds goes to the charity and to cancer research.
* I say runs, but these were actually just walks in my early recovery days from spinal surgery. I am still building up my running and fitness after such a long period of time where I was unable to run!